Social media use is one of the thorniest topics for parents today. Questions abound: Is my child on their phone too much? Is it affecting their mental health? What the heck is Discord?
Jacqueline Nesi, a clinical psychologist and Brown University professor, has heard it all. On her popular Substack, Techno Sapiens, she advises over 40,000 subscribers on the latest psychology research about parenting in the digital era.
We sat down with Nesi to learn more about her thoughts on how parents can navigate social media.
The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Isabella Jibilian:
What kind of questions do you get from parents reaching out to you?
Jacqueline Nesi:
I think that there is generally just a lot of fear around this. They worry that social media could play a role in contributing to mental health concerns. And I think that some of that is that the messaging around social media for parents is very fear-based. There’s a lot of conversation, a lot of debate around this that’s getting to parents that’s very much telling them they should be scared about this.
Jibilian:
Is social media any different from video games or television when we’re talking about its relationship to kids’ mental health?
Nesi:
Anytime there’s a new technology, we see a similar cycle of panic about it, and then eventually that sort of fades away as we move on to a new technology. But there are things about social media that are somewhat unique.
One major element is that social media is accessed via a smartphone. So it is with kids, with teens at all times, any time of day, any location. Also, there are things that are possible on social media that were just not possible with other technologies in terms of the ability to access so many different types of content and share content with a wide audience. But I think that we have to be careful that we’re not falling into this pattern of just assuming that because the technology is new, it’s bad.
Jibilian:
We regularly see headlines that kids today are having trouble with mental health. How much is social media use related to this trend?
Nesi:
We’ve definitely seen an increase in mental health symptoms among adolescents over the past, I would say 15 to 20 years. Of course, over that same time period, we’ve also seen the rise of social media and increased use of social media. But the question of whether those trends are connected is actually a really difficult one to answer.
Mental health concerns are rarely the result of a single cause or a single factor, like social media. And so it is a complicated question to answer with the data and methods that we have available to us right now.
Jibilian:
What design elements have a particular impact on the way kids use social media?
Nesi:
One thing that’s important to understand is that everything that occurs on a social media platform is by design. Every button, the defaults when we first open it up, nothing’s really happening by accident. And a number of features are designed in particular to increase the amount of time that we are spending on these platforms. So things like auto-play, which is when one video just automatically starts playing after another one ends. That’s common on YouTube. Things like endless scroll. If you think about your Instagram feed, there’s never an end to the feed, you can just keep going forever and ever.
There are many young people who say they feel they spend too much time on social media, they feel that it’s hard for them to put it down and that they feel that it’s sort of getting in the way of other things they could be doing with their time.
Jibilian:
The term addiction often comes up. Do you think these features are addictive in nature?
Nesi:
There’s a lot of debate within the psychology field about what should classify as an addiction. There’s some debate about whether behaviors can be addictions or really if the term should be limited to substances like alcohol and drugs. So I’m hesitant to use the term addiction.
I do think, though, that there are certainly people, including young people, who are using these technologies in ways that are problematic. They’re using it so much that it’s getting in the way of other activities that are important for their mental health, like spending time in person with family or friends or time outside, physical activity. Sleep is a huge one.
Jibilian:
Who is at greatest risk of suffering from mental health issues and problematic use?
Nesi:
In general, teens who are already struggling offline are most likely to struggle online. They may be more likely to seek out content that’s not helpful for them, or struggle with their social relationships online, too. So I think that we do see a lot of carryover from the real world to the online world.
Although to say, it’s not all bad. There are a lot of cases of young people who are finding positive experiences with these technologies, whether it’s getting support for mental health, finding people who share identities, or exploring their interests or hobbies.
And interestingly, we sometimes see in the data that the teens who are struggling the most on social media in terms of encountering some of the risks are also sometimes the ones who are encountering more of the benefits, too. So these teens may be getting both sides of the coin, which, of course, makes it really tricky to navigate for adults who are advising these teens and for the teens themselves.
Jibilian:
That’s really interesting. They almost have more to gain and more to lose. In your opinion, where are the real risks and where are the real risks not, when it comes to social media use?
Nesi:
I think there is a misconception that any concerns related to mental health are the direct cause of smartphones and social media.
So the first thing I would say is, I think it’s really important for parents to look outside of these technologies — what is going on in a child’s life? What is their experience at school? Are they feeling safe in their home environment? Are their basic needs being met? Do they have opportunities to socialize outside of their phones and social media? All these different factors that are really important when it comes to mental health.
And then, when it comes to managing social media, I would encourage parents to talk about it often with their kids. Ask a lot of questions and really listen. Try to come in without judgment. Ask kids what do they like about these technologies? What are they seeing on there? What are they doing on there? Having regular conversations, sharing concerns that you have and then listening to your child’s response. Keeping the lines of communication open is one of the most important things that you can do as a parent.
To learn more, read Nesi’s Substack, and watch our story on “Rhode Island PBS Weekly.":
This story is part of our Finding Hope Project. Finding Hope is generously sponsored by Blue Cross & Blue Shield of Rhode Island. Blue Cross & Blue Shield of Rhode Island is an independent licensee of the Blue Cross & Blue Shield Association.
